What the heck is an erection coach and why do I need one?
Healing erectile dysfunction is an opportunity for a man to heal himself from the inside out. A man must be brought into balance and erected from the inside; this is where the erection coach comes into play.
The journey of a man struggling with erectile changes can be a lonely road.
Here are typical hallmarks of the erectile dysfunction journey:
A man is aware of the change in his erection, which starts with a decline in his morning erection.
He often tries to put off fixing it, hoping the problem will resolve itself.
He may still be determining what needs fixing or where to begin.
He wishes for a magic pill that will fix the problem.
Ideally, he wants a cheap and quick one-stop solution, but that is like looking for the holy grail. There’s no manual on how to fix a flaccid penis because each man is different. Not to mention you can’t quickly fix a problem that has a slow onset.
There are several reasons why I say that it’s a lonely road, even though a man is often not on it by himself.
With each unsuccessful sexual encounter, a man’s lover starts to take it personally, get’s angry, and eventually shuts down. This will often cause a man with firmness challenges to retreat, make excuses or pull other tricks to avoid intimacy.
Here are nine ways that a man avoids physical intimacy.
1) Faking other ailments
2) Sleeping on the couch
3 Playing asleep
4) Picking fights (gaslighting)
5) Avoids getting naked
6) Won’t shower in the same room
7) Won’t touch or be touched
8) Wakes up early
9) Blames the dog for being in the bed
If he is single, he will retreat from the dating scene.
The longer he puts off getting help, the more the firmness problem amplifies.
When a man hunts for a solution and is left to his own devices, he fails, retreats, and repeats. This scrambling costs him time, money, and confidence.
Most men dislike asking for help or direction, especially regarding their “manhood.”
Here are ways in which men try to solve the problem of erectile dysfunction on their own.
Dr. Google: He searches everything related to ED.
He finds “performance hackers” try a few of their tricks. That doesn't work, so he keeps searching.
He searches for herbal remedies, throws some money down that black hole, and gives up.
He then searches for the right foods to eat for erectile dysfunction. He tries eating tomatoes and garlic but yields no results.
He may be doing Joe Dispenza meditations because if he becomes Superhuman, all of this will disappear.
Porn Usage: If he’s not already watching porn, he’s now turned toward it. It works! His brain is having a field day with all that variety and stimulation! Eventually, he can only get hard while watching porn, and now he’s hooked, leading to less human connection and more isolation and loneliness.
Infidelity: A man may step out of his relationship to test the waters with another person to see if he can get it up. With all the newness, sometimes it works, but the day comes, and it will come when he can no longer get reliably hard with this other person. Now there is a bigger problem; he must hide his cheating. This creates distance in his relationship, creating more loneliness while still having ED.
Here are some valid attempts at reaching out for help.
The doctor: He talks to a doctor and gets ED medication. He endures some side effects. His sexual encounters are no longer spontaneous. Over time he’s developed a psychological crutch on the medication. He wonders why the pills don’t always work. No one tells him that these ED medications eventually lose effectiveness and that the dosage has to be increased over time. Once he’s at the maximum dosage of 100mg, the next step is injections. He’s still not getting to the root causes, which have now gotten worse over the years.
Treatments: He tries treatments like acoustic wave therapy. The thing is that any treatment that solely focuses on his penis will only give him temporary results. So he finds himself repeatedly back at square one and out thousands of dollars.
Therapy:
Every guy ever thinks it’s all in his head, but after 17 years of guiding men to heal their own erectile dysfunction, I can tell you that it is not all in your head. If it were all in your head, then talk therapy would work.
There are 12 underlying causes of Erectile Dysfunction.
I will be a brat and not list them here because I don’t want you to self-diagnose.
The rabbit holes I listed above are why a man should refrain from self-diagnosing.
After all those unsuccessful attempts, men often numb or distract themselves with activities like watching sports, filling their time with hobbies, being a workaholic, watching porn, or using alcohol. They distance themselves from their relationship, their lover, and dating. They do not want to feel impotent, and who can blame them?
All of their efforts are commendable, but men need to see the REAL problem.
The real problem is that they don't know WHY they have erectile dysfunction.
Trying to fix erectile dysfunction on your own is like reading a book on how to have sex vs. actually having it.
There is no one there to act as a mirror for you to feel the experience and see your own reflection through someone else's eyes. An experienced erection coach will reflect back to you the blind spots that you can’t see, and you’ll be in a safe space to feel your way through the healing journey.
You need CLARITY and a proven roadmap of HOW to reach your destination of a firm erection.
Who hires an erection coach?
The surface answer… is men who don't want to take pills, men who want to get off of pills, or men who need to get their pills to work.
The short answer… is that men who work with an erection coach are results driven.
The deeper answer… is men who are open to thinking outside the box.
That are willing to be open to a new way of being and doing.
They want to up-level, play a bigger game, and show up for themselves.
In doing so, they will be able to show up fully for every aspect of their life.
They must feel worthy and willing to invest time, resources, and energy into this endeavor… to invest in their inner self.
They've got to see that all the money in the world, a new toy or a pill will not bring them the self-assuredness that comes from healing this from the inside out.
They must be able to receive the medicine of their erection coach, who will serve as a high-powered mirror and will communicate with a balance of being direct and also compassionate.
By holistically improving firmness, vitality, and confidence, this will be reflected not only in a man’s sexual health and performance. But also in their improved relationships and finances.
I hope you will take away at least three mental shifts by reading this blog.
First, your real problem is that you don’t know why you have erectile dysfunction. This is why as a first step, I offer my Blue Print Assessment, where we look under the hood at the 12 underlying causes of your firmness challenge. No stone will be left unturned.
Armed with clarity, You can try to heal this on your own, or I can be your guide and show you how to heal this with my 90-day program, The Be Firm BluePrint.
My program is the road map.
I am the navigation.
You are driving the car.
Your partner, if you have one, can be your pit crew.
The second is that it is extremely rare that Erectile Dysfunction is a penis problem.
I can prove this because, for the past 17 years, I have not needed to see or touch a man’s penis in order to heal his erectile dysfunction. I have not even needed to work with a man in-person to get results and maintain my 99% success rate. Remember, any treatment focusing solely on your penis will only provide temporary results because this is not a penis problem.
Thirdly. There is always hope, and hope is a verb.
If you are ready to take a small step in healing erectile dysfunction, contact me, and we can get on a 15-minute call.
Shari James RN is a pioneer in integrating Medical Science, 5 Elemental Medicine, and Tantra to become the world's top erection coach.
Shari has empowered thousands of men with her root-cause approach that is doctor-approved and also wife-approved.
As a former stripper turned RN, then Tantra Teacher to Erection Coach, Shari James has been helping men "keep it up" since 1992.
The emphasis of Shari's work is to help men get hard, stay hard, and last long.
Shari has been featured on ABC News, Playboy, and the Good Men Project.
In addition to being an expert guest on top podcasts, she has been a speaker at one of Forbes's top 3 must-attend events, Secret Knock.
Shari's mission is to raise the consciousness of men through the doorway of their sexuality.
